Extreme Attitudes
Definition
In REBT, extreme attitudes are exaggerated evaluations about the badness, unbearability, or worthlessness of adversities. They are typically derived from Rigid Attitudes and include three main types: Awfulising, Unbearability, and Devaluation.
Where a rigid attitude demands something must or must not happen, extreme attitudes exaggerate how bad it would be if it did or didn’t happen.
The Three Main Types of Extreme Attitudes
1. Awfulising Attitudes
Definition: Believing that something is worse than 100% bad, catastrophic, or the worst possible thing that could happen.
Characteristics:
- Treating something as worse than it actually is
- Believing no good could come from a bad event
- Seeing something as unbearable or impossible to recover from
- Viewing a setback as total disaster
Examples:
- “It would be awful / terrible / catastrophic if I failed the test”
- “It’s the end of the world that they rejected me”
- “It’s unbearable that things didn’t go as planned”
Underlying rigid attitude:
- “Things must go my way, and it’s terrible when they don’t”
2. Unbearability Attitudes
Definition: Believing that you cannot tolerate or bear an adversity; that it would destroy you or permanently diminish your capacity for happiness.
Characteristics:
- Conviction that you would disintegrate or cease to function
- Belief that happiness would be impossible if the adversity persisted
- Fear that you couldn’t cope with the situation
- Sense of helplessness about surviving the difficulty
Examples:
- “I can’t bear being alone”
- “I couldn’t cope if I lost my job”
- “I’d lose my capacity for happiness if they left me”
- “It’s intolerable that I have to wait for the results”
Underlying rigid attitude:
- “Comfort must exist, and I can’t stand discomfort”
- “My happiness must not be threatened, or I’m undone”
3. Devaluation Attitudes
Definition: Believing that a person (self or other) can be given a single, global rating that defines their essence and worth; that worth is conditional on performance, achievement, or other changeable factors.
Characteristics:
- Rating a whole person based on one aspect or action
- Belief that worth rises and falls with circumstances
- Self-devaluation when failing or being criticized
- Devaluation of others when they disappoint
- Belief that one is wholly good or wholly bad
Examples:
- “I’m a complete failure because I didn’t get the promotion” (self-devaluation)
- “They’re worthless because they betrayed me” (other-devaluation)
- “I’m stupid because I made a mistake”
- “The world is rotten because bad things happen”
Underlying rigid attitude:
- “I must succeed, and if I don’t, I’m worthless”
- “Others must treat me well, and if they don’t, they’re bad people”
How Extreme Attitudes Arise
In REBT, extreme attitudes are typically understood as secondary, derived from Rigid Attitudes:
- First comes the rigid demand: “I must not fail”
- When facing the possibility of failure, extreme attitudes kick in:
- Awfulising: “It would be awful if I failed”
- Unbearability: “I couldn’t bear failing”
- Devaluation: “If I failed, I’d be a failure (as a person)“
Characteristics of Extreme Attitudes
All extreme attitudes share these features:
False: They are not actually true. Adversities are usually less than 100% bad; you can bear difficult things; worth isn’t determined by single actions.
Illogical: It doesn’t logically follow that because something is bad, it’s awful; because something is difficult, you can’t bear it; because you did something wrong, you’re wholly worthless.
Unconstructive: They lead to emotional disturbance, avoidance, and dysfunction rather than constructive problem-solving.
Extreme Attitudes vs. Strong Feelings
It’s important to distinguish:
- Strong but realistic feelings: “This is really bad, and I don’t like it” (without awfulising)
- Extreme attitudes with disturbance: “This is terrible / unbearable / proves I’m worthless”
A situation can be genuinely negative without being “awful” in REBT terms. You can be upset without being disturbed.
The Difference Between Extreme and Non-Extreme Attitudes
| Aspect | Extreme Attitude | Non-Extreme Attitude |
|---|---|---|
| About badness | ”It’s awful / terrible / the worst" | "It’s bad / unfortunate / I don’t like it” |
| About tolerance | ”I can’t bear it / it’s intolerable" | "It’s difficult / a struggle, but I can bear it” |
| About worth | ”This makes me wholly worthless" | "This is a bad action, but I’m not a bad person” |
| Reality alignment | Exaggerates the negative | Realistic appraisal |
| Emotional consequence | Disturbance, panic, despair | Sadness, concern, disappointment |
| Functionality | Leads to avoidance and dysfunction | Leads to coping and problem-solving |
Why Extreme Attitudes Matter Clinically
Extreme attitudes are key targets in therapy because:
- They amplify emotional disturbance
- They maintain avoidance behaviors
- They prevent realistic problem-solving
- They can be changed through examining and developing Non-Extreme Attitudes
Changing Extreme Attitudes
The therapeutic work involves:
- Identifying them in automatic thoughts and images
- Examining them (Is this actually true? Does it follow logically? What are the real consequences?)
- Developing alternatives — Non-Extreme Attitudes
- Rehearsing the non-extreme alternative repeatedly
- Acting in ways consistent with the non-extreme attitude
- Accepting that the extreme attitude may linger with less conviction
Extreme Attitudes in Different Frameworks
- REBT: Central focus; seen as secondary to rigid attitudes; key target for change
- CBT: May address as “catastrophic thinking” or “all-or-nothing thinking”
- ACT: May address as unhelpful thoughts; emphasis on accepting them while pursuing values
- CFT: May address shame-based devaluation attitudes
- MBCT: Uses mindfulness to observe extreme thoughts arising without believing or acting on them
Related Concepts
See also: Awfulising, Unbearability, Devaluation, Non-Extreme Attitudes, Rigid Attitudes, Flexible Attitudes, REBT, ABC Model.
Sources
- Windy Dryden: Dealing with Emotional Problems Using REBT: A Practitioner’s Guide (2nd ed., 2024) — Chapter 1: “Emotional Problems: Foundations and Healthy Alternatives”
- Albert Ellis: Foundational work on irrational vs. rational thinking patterns